Updated: Jun 11, 2021
A couple of years ago, I was pretty proud of myself. I would put in 110% into everything I did, and I was proud that my hard work paid off. This dedication showed and resulted in bosses that were wiling to invest in teaching me the skills required and that resulted in jobs that I wasn’t qualified for. Doing things and doing them well was part of my identity.
Then, one day I realized that these high exacting standards I was holding myself from was turning into a problem. I was so paralyzed by the fear of not reaching those standards that I was not starting things. Not at work – but in my personal life.
I really wanted to have a business that I would make a real living in – I had some ideas, but I was so scared to fail that I wouldn’t let myself start. Then, one day, it clicked. If I didn’t try, then I was failing, wasn’t I? I was allowing myself to fail without even trying. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Either way I was failing –all of a sudden, I wasn’t willing to give up without even trying.
I decided to turn that voice inside my head that helps telling me that I couldn’t around. Instead, I choose to believe that I can. I do not have all the answers, but I do know I am meant to help others and if I don’t try I won’t figure it out. Who knows - perhaps some people are even being helped by me showing up, as I am – imperfect. Too many people are trying to show the world how perfect their life is – it can be intimidating. Life isn’t perfect, however, and perhaps me showing up messy is enough to be a ray of light in someone else’s life.